Make it a contingency in your getting back to gether — he has to attend marital counseling AND anger management counseling. if he won’t go, it’s over.

AND, he has to give his counselor written permission to discuss his case with you, such as the counselor feels its appropriate. You must have the ability to call his counselor and ask, “How’s he doin’?” If he won’t give you this, then he can say he’s going, but he won’t.

And of course YOU need to attend marital counseling, using the same counselor, going together an dseparately as the counselor requests.

It is great that you want to give him another chance, but give him a chance at what — getting better, or just getting angry at you again? Without counseling for BOTH of you, it will be a lost cause to try to get back together and make it work.

As for you, concentrate on your marriage, and you won’t have any time left to look at other guys. This is the old “idle hands [heads] get into trouble” rule. If you are concentrating on making this marriage work, you won’t have time to think about other guys.