6 Comments

• aspasia says:

  February 12, 2006 at 23:52

  You are in the interesting position, of trying to decide the correct form to follow in a situation that would never have arisen were people following correct form.

  A hostess should never invite to any event, people that she doesn’t care about. All her guests should be equally cherished, equally welcomed. No invitation should be sent with the words “and guest”, and unmarried people should each be sent his or her own invitation to his or her own address.

  In this case in contrast to correct form, she has basically told your friend “feel free to accessorize yourself with an escort” and you are being treated as a walking fashion accessory. If she were following correct form, she would have asked your friend for an invitation to you at some previous occasion, and then she would have sent you your own invitation. And in that case, of course, you would bring a gift. Not a gift of money — that could suggest that you feel the bride and groom are in need of charity — but either a small token of lasting value, or a simple card expressing your best wishes.

  In this case, you are under no such obligation, any more than a scarf or a belt-buckle is expected to bring a gift. Your friend who was invited will take care of the social obligations. Though, if you wish to give a small token or a card, you certainly may.
• Nikki M says:

  February 11, 2006 at 19:26

  it is nice to do so. Ask your friend what store they are registered at (you just go type their name into a machine and it tells you what they want)

  Although people have come to expect gifts it is not required for any guest to bring a wedding gift. Wedding ettiquette states that.
• miss America says:

  February 9, 2006 at 12:15

  absolutely! they are paying for you to be there. so a gift is courteous. they have to pay for your meal and drinks which can run anywhere from $15 and up!
• The Sh*t says:

  February 9, 2006 at 07:03

  I would assume the person inviting you would be taking care of the gift. If you’d like you can put a little money towards their gift for the bride and groom.
• greeneyes_bjb says:

  February 6, 2006 at 17:01

  Typically, the invited guest brings a gift addressed from both herself and her date.
• Shelley says:

  February 5, 2006 at 10:28

  When in doubt I always put some money in a card. It never expires, it can be used anywhere, and it’s perfect for all occasions. Currency of one kind or another are among the oldest wedding gifts. Right up there with Yams and live stock.

  If you’re a bit strapped for cash I’m sure you could get card and send good wishes. If it was my wedding I wouldn’t expect you to bring a present.

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